Please forgive me if I seem a little nervous standing up here tonight. I was a trial lawyer for 37 years so its extremely unusual for me ti have anyone actually listening to what I say. Kind of unsettling, yes.
Yes I feel better admitting it, that I am recovering lawyer, trying to get used to normal society again…sort of like releasing an animal back to the wild.
So a few years ago, my 8 year old son came to see what his dad does in court. The next day his mother asked him, “hey Matt, do you know anything the neighbour’s broken window?”
He said:
- Mom, I was not playing baseball outside the house yesterday.
- If you find as a fact that I was playing baseball outside, it was not me who broke the window;
- If you find I did break the window, it was a complete accident.
- If you find that it was intentional on my part, I beg forgiveness and plead first offence with no prior record.
- A fast learner, obviously.
When I first started practicing law. Now that it is an odd word, yes ? Someone is charged with murder and they get a lawyer who is practicing ? Don’t they want someone who has got it down ? Yes, I have been practicing law for 40 years, still no clue how to do it right yet…you would think by now, I would have it right…
Anyhow when I first started, I wanted to be a criminal lawyer, as opposed to a lawyer who is a criminal, a very subtle yet very important distinction.
So as a young criminal lawyer with 2 seconds of experience, just so you know, you don’t get murder charges or zillion dollar security fraud cases. No, Perdue Pharma does not usually retain a punky lawyer kid.
Young lawyers get hookers and drug addicts..it makes for an interesting social life…..hey let’s get together after court today…hmmm……….. but as clients…pretty well bottom of the barrel stuff. Plus they are all as guilty as sin…really, success means another hooker back on the street…It’s not really an inspirational life.
Imagine the dinner conversation:
Wife: How was your day, dear?
Me: Great, Susy, the Local Good Thing is back on the streets again.
Wife: Well good going. We need more hookers earning cash to buy more drugs from the dealers downtown.
Me: Yes, I am indeed proud to be contributing to the local vibrant economy.
Lot of people don’t like lawyers, I know, but they come in handy sometimes. Suppose