Norman Grosman was my friend. More importantly he was also a father, a husband, a brother and an impressive employment lawyer in Toronto. I believe these are presented in order of importance.
I knew Norm as a colleague for a zillion years. Our real friendship started some twenty five years ago when we met one another in the passport office in downtown Toronto at lunch hour. I was in the midst of yet another tedious hearing and was eyeing my watch. Norm noticed me, next to him, as I was shifting anxiously in my seat. He offered me his ticket number, well in advance of my own, to allow me time to get back to the hearing.
I offered my thanks by a beer invite the following week. We became best friends from that date forward. We then started an employment lawyers meeting night which continues to this day. TFK, Thirst for Knowledge, as it is known, provides a means of employment litigation lawyers to relax and know one another and set aside the nasty court room fights for an evening, well hopefully longer.
Norm was the emcee of the TFK Christmas dinner for many years, He made fun of our peers and also suffered from the barrage of dinner rolls thrown in his direction. TFK with Norman as chair welcomed our mutual friend, Randy, when he became a Superior Court judge with an evening of hilarity, sincerity and fun with a Maple Leaf sweater of number 680, reflecting his hourly rate.
Norm found the love of his life, Debbie, some 12 years ago. She was diagnosed with cancer some 7 months after they had met. Many would have run for the hills. Norm and Debbie married 4 years later. Debbie’s cancer returned and tragically ended her life in 2012.
Norm was a wonderful caring funny guy, buy refused to show any of these fine traits this until he was down by two martinis.
He indeed possessed fine qualities, yet he was also, like all of us, flawed. Norm’s elder brother, Brian, had started the law firm and invited his much younger brother and his peer, Bill, to join the firm on their graduation. When Brian retired some four years ago, Norm and Brian developed a severe animosity. Who was right or wrong is beyond me and is likely of no consequence.
In 2014, at a TFK Christmas dinner yet, I offered to help each mediate and resolve this painful dispute. Brian was then 78. “Brian will not live, forever”, I said, “Now is the time to end this dispute, do you want to take this to his death?” Norm’s response was emphatically discouraging, It had the F-word in it.
In March the following year, Norm suffered a massive stroke. He permanently lost his ability to speak. He died on his wife’s birthday two weeks ago by medical assistance. It was the best decision he could have made.
Regrettably Norm took his dispute with his brother to his death bed. He tragically denied his brother the right to participate as a family member in the funeral process.
Norm was a lovely friend to me and many others, a wonderful father and human being. I do miss my dear friend, flaws and all.